Can I Sustain This?
Right now I’m wondering how long I can realistically keep this up? I feel confident in my ability to come up with a new character each week, and to act it well.
I mean physically.
Physically, how many weeks can I go with such a meager amount of sleep? I have no intention of quitting, but I’m wondering how long it’ll be before my body finally says, “Screw you, pal!” and shuts down on me.
The problem isn’t the show, it’s my day-job. Working 9 to 6, Mon. thru Fri. means I’m pretty much limited to shooting on the weekends, and editing on Monday and Tuesday nights. Pickups are a tricky thing to negotiate (if I can get them at all). I don’t want to give up this project; I want to give up my day-job.
So. Anyone wanna sponsor this project? Know an art-lover with deep pockets? Want an “Executive Producer” credit?
That said, I’m going to stop whining and suck it up. Eventually. Not today, though. I was up until about 1:30am last night capturing and logging yesterday’s footage, and I woke up at 5:45am this morning to shoot the last bits I needed for Wednesday’s episode. So, I’m tired and fantasizing about having a benefactor/sponsor situation. So sue me. Of note, though, is that I don’t feel that tired because I’ve had so many nights in the last few weeks where I only got one or two hours of sleep that four hours and fifteen minutes doesn’t feel that bad, comparatively. I guess it’s all about perspective.
Last Thursday my boss was out for the day, and I was so tired that I went into his office pretending to take a call on my cell, locked the glass door, and literally curled up into a little ball under his desk to nap for about half an hour. Had I been caught, I almost certainly would have been fired. At the moment, though, the risk seemed entirely worth it.
In contrast, after I finished shooting at about 7:50am this morning, I felt really good. The sort of happy serenity, and the feeling of having accomplished something sort of washed over me. Actually, I’ve had a lot of those moments since beginning this beast, and I hope the continue to come. They really do make it all worth it.
Brent Rose 4.13.09