Can I Sustain This?

Right now I’m wondering how long I can realistically keep this up?  I feel confident in my ability to come up with a new character each week, and to act it well.

I mean physically.

Physically, how many weeks can I go with such a meager amount of sleep?  I have no intention of quitting, but I’m wondering how long it’ll be before my body finally says, “Screw you, pal!” and shuts down on me.

The problem isn’t the show, it’s my day-job.  Working  9 to 6, Mon. thru Fri. means I’m pretty much limited to shooting on the weekends, and editing on Monday and Tuesday nights.  Pickups are a tricky thing to negotiate (if I can get them at all).  I don’t want to give up this project; I want to give up my day-job.

So.  Anyone wanna sponsor this project?  Know an art-lover with deep pockets?  Want an “Executive Producer” credit?


That said, I’m going to stop whining and suck it up.  Eventually.  Not today, though.  I was up until about 1:30am last night capturing and logging yesterday’s footage, and I woke up at 5:45am this morning to shoot the last bits I needed for Wednesday’s episode.  So, I’m tired and fantasizing about having a benefactor/sponsor situation.  So sue me.  Of note, though, is that I don’t feel that tired because I’ve had so many nights in the last few weeks where I only got one or two hours of sleep that four hours and fifteen minutes doesn’t feel that bad, comparatively.  I guess it’s all about perspective.

Last Thursday my boss was out for the day, and I was so tired that I went into his office pretending to take a call on my cell, locked the glass door, and literally curled up into a little ball under his desk to nap for about half an hour.  Had I been caught, I almost certainly would have been fired.  At the moment, though, the risk seemed entirely worth it.

In contrast, after I finished shooting at about 7:50am this morning, I felt really good.  The sort of happy serenity, and the feeling of having accomplished something sort of washed over me.  Actually, I’ve had a lot of those moments since beginning this beast, and I hope the continue to come.  They really do make it all worth it.

Again, perspective.

Sleepily Yours,

Brent Rose 4.13.09

~ by 50in50 on April 13, 2009.

3 Responses to “Can I Sustain This?”

  1. Hey, just managed to come over and check out the whole shebang. First off, this is some serious inspiration. I’ve got a ton of squashed creativity angst sublimated by the 9-5 imperative going on, and seeing someone I know making a serious effort to make it work really helps. So now you have the additional pressure of my expectations. You’re welcome! And I’ll definitely link to it in my blog a few times (hey, out of 9 readers maybe there’s a rich one).

    But seriously… I’ve only skimmed through the site, so I may be suggesting something that goes counter to your fundamental challenge, but if it’s getting tough, try outsourcing/crowdsourcing some of the labor. Can you get your friends/colleagues to write some character sketches? How about some guest video editors to take a load off? Or (and this is probably totally sacrilege) create some characters for others to enact? Could be a good way to build on your network, etc. Oh! Or double up a couple of weeks! Two characters in one? ehhhh?

    Anyway, keep it up if you can.

    • Good thoughts, and thanks for the encouragement. I’ve definitely contemplated the idea of a guest video editor, and the idea certainly has some appeal. As far as outsourcing the writing or acting, I don’t think I can do that and stay within the guidelines of the challenge, but I’m definitely open to the idea of creating a character and doing something with someone else. I can’t wait to do that, actually. I’ve got a healthy handful of ideas at the moment; I’m just trying to figure out what to do, when. Resources are always a factor. Like, there’s a date scene I would really love to do, but I’m not tight with anyone who owns a restaurant, so I’m not sure how to do that (may just do it in my living room, eventually). Or I’ve got an idea or two where it would pretty much need to be a two-camera shoot, but I’ve just got the one camera. So, I’m working on the logistics of all that. If anyone out there wants to volunteer to be a production manager, holla’ at yer boy!

      Thanks again for the comments and questions.

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